Calamitous Camping
by 1 Owen Grady
Summary: Slaughter, cannibalism, and Stupid Teenagers.


Calamitous Camping

Sam tripped on a tree stump that was jutting out of the ground and stumbled, almost dropping the backpack that he was carrying over his shoulders. "Careful!", Mack said. "Why are we letting the clumsy oaf carry our provision bag?", asked Mack. "Because", responded Sandra, "the bag is so heavy that all Sam can do is huff and now we don't have to hear him talk all the time." "Ee am nowt aon aff.", Sam puffed out. "See", Sandra said.

Horace being in the front of the group saw that their next step of their mountain journey was a small cliff. Quickly and swiftly he climbed to a ledge on the small cliff. He then helped everyone else up, except in Sam's case it was that Horace pulled him up. Horace commenting in a sarcastic tone, "And I didn't even break a sweat."

By the time that they all got to the top of the small cliff Sam was not the only one out of breath. They all agreed to camp at the top of the small cliff for the night. "Horace and Mack can you gather wood for the fire? And Sandra can you and Sam fill all of our water bottles, while I start the fire?", asked Alice. They all responded with one form of affirmative, although Sandra's was in more of a detailed sarcastic form then the other's responses.

"When we all get back I will instruct you on where we will all have our tents and how the camp will be set up, ok?", Mack said. "I think that we will all decide how to set up the camp.", Alice responded. They all agreed with Alice, and Mack huffed and walked off to start collecting wood.

"Hew fear ta thea wiver?", huffed Sam as he and Sandra were walking through the forest. "Not too much further.", answered Sandra. "Why didn't you leave the provision bag back at the camp?", asked Sandra. "Ee nono", answered Sam. "Look, here we are.", said Sandra as she pushed a few branches aside to reveal a clear, clean river with an apparent strong current. "About time.", grunted Sam as he set down the provision bag near his feet. "Now, lets fill all of the water bottles and then head back to the camp.", Sandra said while handing Sam some of the water bottles. They both stooped down next to the river and started to fill the water bottles.

Now that Sam was relieved of the provision bag, he started to tell Sandra of a story about something that had happened to him and Horace a few days before the group began their trip. When they were almost done with their last water bottles Sam stood up to demonstrate something that had happened in his story. He said, "And this is what Mack did when I told him about it." Sam then began flailing his arms about and kicking his legs in a very boisterous manner. "Stop!" Yelled Sandra. But it was too late, Sam accidently kicked the provision bag, and it fell over and rolled into the winding river. They both stood and watched as the provision bag floated away, which contained all of their food and most of their camping supplies. "You idiot!" screamed Sandra. "It was an accident.", cried Sam. "Grab the water bottles, no wait, I'll take them. We're going back to the camp." Sandra said.

When Sandra and Sam got back to the camp Horace and Mack were entering the camp with their third load. "Sam where is the provision bag?" Asked Alice. "In the river.", responded Sandra. "No really where is the provision bag? I need to start making our supper.", Alice said. "No really, Sam kicked it into the river.", Sandra retorted. "What!", Alice shouted. "It was an accident.", Sam argued in a slightly shrill voice. Mack dropped his wood and said in an aggravated tone, "I bought more then half of that stuff." He started to come at Sam but Horace stepped in between Mack and Sam and said in a dominant tone, "Stop! Nobody is going to touch anybody." Horace paused and waited for Mack to calm down and then began again, "Here's the plan, we're all…" ahh-wooo! Horace was cut off by the evident howl of a wolf. They all froze for the howl had not come from too far away. "Hurry!", Horace said, "Pull everything closer to the fire." They all started scrambling about getting everything in the camp as close to the fire without burning them as possible. They had almost gotten the last tent closer to the fire when they heard another howl, this time it had sounded as if it were only 300 feet away. They all quickly grabbed the last tent and pulled it over to the fire. As Sam stood up from his crouching position, which he was in while pulling the tent to the fire, he tripped on one of the edges of one of the tents and fell backwards onto the ground behind the tents and the fire. The rest of the group ran over to where Sam had tripped and Alice asked in a shrill alarmed voice, "Sam are you all right?" "Yes," responded Sam, "but I hurt my- aaaahhhhh!" Sam started screeching, and when the group leaned over the side of the tent of which Sam had fallen they saw five wolves tearing Sam to shreds. There where entrails flying about and Sam slowly stopped screaming. Alice started to cry and looked away.

The group, besides Sam, huddled close to the fire while trying to take in what had just happened. Sandra was attempting to comfort Alice as Mack was just sitting staring at the fire while Horace was already beginning to develop a plan. While the group was huddled behind the tents, the wolves where circling the camp and waiting for one of the group to leave the safety of the camp so that the wolves could tear their limbs from their body. Horace stood up and said, "I have a plan." He paused to make sure that he had everyone's attention and then started to speak once more, "The fire will keep the wolves at bay, but we will eventually run out of wood for it, so we have to do something or soon there won't be anything to do." "What's your plan?" asked Sandra. "We are going to use anything we have to fight these beasts before we lose our advantage…meaning the fire." responded Horace. "I can use my Gerber to whittle some spears out of a few of these longer sticks." Mack said. "And I can rip up the tents and use the cloth to make a padding that we can put on our arms and legs" Alice pitched in. "Alright, you guys get on that and Sandra and I will keep the fire going as well as we can." Horace said.

Roughly thirty minutes later, Mack had finished whittling the spears and Alice had wrapped everyone's arms and legs but herself in a thick layer of the tents' cloth and Horace and Sandra were wrapping Alice's arms and legs in the last of the tents' cloth. "There, finished.", Horace said as he stepped away from Alice to see his and Sandra's work. "Here you all go.", Mack said as he handed everyone a wooden spear. "Is everybody ready?", asked Horace. They all responded with a nod. "Let's do this then!", Horace said as he picked up a stick that was half in the fire. Alice walked over to what was left of the middle tent and grabbed one of the edges of it and then looked at Horace. Horace looked back at Alice and nodded. Alice pulled back the ruin tent and Horace and Mack ran out in the front closely followed by Sandra and Alice. Horace and Mack, being the first to get out of the tent encircled camp, started to attack the first wolf that they encountered. Then Sandra and Alice attacked the next two wolves that started to attack the group. Horace waved his flaming stick at the wolf that he was engaged with, and then while the wolf was temporarily fazed, Horace used his spear and stabbed straight through the wolf's eye and into it's brain. Horace turned around to see Mack screeching while he was torn to tatters by two of the wolves. He raised his spear and threw it at the wolf that was atop Mack. The spear imbedded itself in the wolf and the wolf rolled over dead. Alice had just jabbed her spear into the wolf that she was fighting, and then raised her spear and charged a wolf that was ripping into Sandra. Alice skewered the wolf with her spear. Horace bashed the last wolf with his flaming stick and lit the wolf afire. Horace huffing, looked at Alice while she did the same. They stood there for awhile and then they both looked at the bodies of their friends and the bodies of the wolves and Horace said "well, now we won't starve to death."


End file.
